Okay….it has been a couple of weeks since I first posted my first blog.  In some ways it felt good to get something out and see it in writing so to speak.

I have made some changes in my life.  I was trying to figure out the best way to go about making the changes and realized I would need help.  So after much thought and research I decided to join weight watchers on line to assist me with trying to loose weight.  I had tried it once before a few years back but for many reasons I’m sure ( although I can not think of one good one now) I had trouble sticking to it and gave up.  This time I am hopeful that with perseverance and determination that I will have success.  At least I feel it is a good starting off point and maybe will carry me through to my goal.

So with a plan of action in place and the support of my husband and my children( although they don’t know it they just love their mommy) I started almost 2 weeks ago. So far so good except for feeling very hungry the first week and it has been better since.  Started moving more and doing a little more with the kids.  I have yet to start at the gym.  My goal is to just start walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes 3 x’s a week and build from there.

So have I learned anything the past couple of weeks….yes I think so.

First of all I have reaffirmed that it really is one day at time and some will be better than some but just keep going.  Also although I knew I was not alone in this I really know now that I am not.  Thank you Trine for everything you do.

So to date the amount lost is 13 pounds…just a few more to go one day at a time  

CC

Okay it’s time.  I started this blog months ago with an idea of  what it’s purpose was to be and then I never followed through.  But I cannot put it off any longer and the reality is starring back at me in the mirror every day and I cannot do it anymore.

All my life I have been obese.  I hate that word.  It has followed me around for as long as I can remember and has such ugly meaning to it let alone morbid obesity.  I use all kinds of words to avoid saying the “o” word.  Personally my favourite is “fluffy” but I am also 43 years of age and it is time to get my head out of the clouds and do everything I can to get rid of the word that has followed me around forever and over the years has caused me more pain than anyone knows, even the people who love me most have no idea how much hurt I have gone through over the years because of one thing…. the shape of my body.  

The experiences we go through in life help to form the type of people we become and is ever changing I do believe. I also think your main inner core remains the same and layers of experiences get wrapped around it and sometimes protects us, makes us weaker, stronger, more caring, angry, etc.  the list can go on forever.  For what the ever reason I have gone through everything I have gone through and it has helped to make me the person I am.   Which I think is okay.  I think I am a good person.  I have one thing to change for me….not anyone else…. the shape of my body.  Do I think it will make the world a better place? change the economy? No….but it will change my world in ways I am sure I do not know, having never been slender in my life.  I am committed to taking this one day at a time and once and fore all taking charge and making a difference in the one thing I have never been able to control in my life. I want to wake up one day and not feel the effects of being obese and not have the first thought being my weight. 

I want to be free!

I have never written a journal in my life for fear that someone would find it and read it.  To write down some of your inner most thoughts and have someone else read them terrorized me.  But I feel I need an outlet besides the ones I have and what better way than to start a blog. 

Please wish me luck on my journey for it is not just mine but my family’s as well. 

Wishing everyone a wonderful day, as it is new and bright and hopeful each and everyday.

CC